October 1st, 2018
It's sad to know, most of the time , Family hurts you the most.
This weekend was a rough one for me. Saturday night going into Sunday morning. I had it out with a Family Member. Let's just say I got out about a little over 20 years of Hurt, Anger, and Frustration, I had finally found my voice after being scared for so long to say how I felt.
This person cannot admit any wrong doing and always likes to play the victim on how a certain person had hurt this person which made actions of abandonment, hurting me, an never being there, justifiable.
I will be using person number 1 and personal number 2.
It stared almost 2 years ago when I invited person #1 and person #2 to Easter at my house. The person #2 came, while person #1 made some lame excuse for not coming. Person #2 and I had a blast with the Family. The next day person #1 contacted me and I found out they did not come because person #2 was there, and we had it out, because I was to notify Person #1 of who was coming to my house. That set me off, as it's my house, I invite who I want. I haven't really spoken to person #1 since then, but when I found out that I was Pregnant with my son. I reached out to person#1 letting so they can share in my joy with me. Did not hear back, nothing, Silence.
When I found out my son a boy, I reached out again to share the news. Same nothing, silence. I was so hurt, I started I cried all day to my husband, as to why this person who was so Important to me, would just ignore me. I reached out again one last time when I had my son to let them know, he had enter the world and he was healthy. Crickets.
Two months and a have months have past and I finally here back from person #1. Really random how the conversation started, and person #1 acting like they didn't just ignore me for almost 2 years, especially through my pregnancy and deliver of my son. Well I've it and I let it rip. BUT it was like speaking to a brick wall. Person #1 didn't think they did anything wrong and kept making it person #2 and my fault. Person #1 was saying I didn't reach out, and keeping a continued family relationship works both ways. I told person #1 that they are right it does work both ways, so why was I being ignored. No answer instead, I get how person #1 was so hurt but person #2. Well person #1 does seem to realize that I was hurt by person #1 and person #2, but person #2 apologized and realized how they hurt while person #1 plays victim and blames everyone else and will not take responsibility for the hurt they caused. It always comes back to person #2 and person #1 needs to let it go and move on already like I did. But its not happening. I'm happy I was able to voice my hurt that held in for so many years, but still I cried to my husband because person #1 just doesn't get it. I felt better after and that I let my anger go towards person #1. I said my peace.
I learned from this that I should have said something sooner, but I already knew how conversation would go, so I kept it myself. I should have something and maybe I wouldn't have blown up like I did.
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